Suomeksi / English
Healing Narratives: Black Women's Journey towards Utopia
My utopia is a testament to love, an ode to the pursuit of freedom, and an edifice free from the stain of colonial specters like hegemony, hierarchies, and violence.
Text: Nia Sullivan
Illustrations: Kathleem Diémé
December 15, 2023
Audio: Listen to the essay read by Yolanda Correa Brown. Audio is recorded at the reader’s home.
In the recurring narrative of our collective struggle against injustice, we find ourselves increasingly inclined toward dystopia. Yet, amid these challenging and restless conditions, radical visions of liberation nurture solace, a sanctuary from the encroaching obscurity. Dystopian knowledge informs our ways of understanding and existing, yet within these confines, Black dreams and futures continue to evolve. The term 'utopia' dons a multitude of impressions in our discourse. In many instances, utopia is cast as a heretic, daring to dream beyond the mundane, only to be dismissed and reluctant. On the contrary, it becomes a vessel of aspiration, an elixir promising the allure of bliss and fulfillment. In my vision, utopia evolves as an emblem of the extraordinary, a canvas on which we paint our dreams of an ideal perfection, a realm where authenticity and imagination intertwine.
My utopia is a realm absent of constraints imposed by compelled denial of freedom, social impediments, and the absence of consideration. In this ethereal world, Black girls are not confined by the boundaries of the unattainable. Utopia extends its vision, advocating for dreaming to embrace Black femininity's brilliance, intricacies, and profound essence. It is the embodiment of authentic existence and a catalyst for a radical reimagining of how we know and engage with society. What captivates my imagination is the way in which Black women craft their visions of ideal perfection through the rituals of kinship, self-love, and the alchemy of healing. In this essay, we embark on a journey that transcends into healing through the experiences and visions woven by Black utopias. It is a journey that navigates through the labyrinthine alleys of repression to the dawning light of evolution.
In the forthcoming sections, we will explore the profound insights and experiences shared by “Hasnaa”, a generous contributor whose wisdom previously enriched my Master's thesis which focused on the themes of gendered racial socialization messages and healing. Hasnaa's wisdom harmonizes beautifully with the essence of utopia. Our shared journey will be structured around two pivotal themes: the path from repression to evolution. Through the narratives offered by Hasnaa, we will navigate the intricate terrain of self-discovery, aiming to uncover the essence of joy concealed within the canvas of our shared experiences.
Dreaming
Dreaming to embody an ideal perfection is an endeavor in creativity and imagination. My utopia is a testament to love, an ode to the pursuit of freedom, and an edifice free from the stain of colonial specters like hegemony, hierarchies, and violence. Yet, even as I yearn for such an idyllic world, I am keenly aware of the indelible imprints that society and history have left upon my identity and my understanding of the world.
By placing narratives at its core, this essay embarks on exploring the path to composing an idyllic utopia.
The radical self-love I embrace is a product of sifting through the layers of socialized 'truths,' revealing the hidden biases that mold our existence, influence our interactions, and shape our access to liberation. Ideal perfection is not a mere destination but a restorative justice and empowerment conduit. By placing narratives at its core, this essay embarks on exploring the path to composing an idyllic utopia. This approach involves unlearning and transcending the messages that seek to confine and dictate the ways in which Black women navigate the canvas of society.
My utopia is an enchanting realm where curiosity dances with authenticity and where forgotten wisdom is celebrated. It is a canvas upon which I paint a version of myself unburdened by the constraints society has placed upon Black women. It is a dream that dares to imagine alternative paths of existence, and in doing so, it ushers in radical liberation, transformation, and authenticity, unfettered by societal norms and conventions.
Repression
Let's revisit the perspectives and repercussions of the world we're conditioned to accept. Microaggressions ensure Black women face recurring stereotypes that flatten our individuality, viewing us through a rigid filter. In this section, we delve into the stereotypes tied to Black femininity that Hasnaa has encountered on her journey. These include the hasty label of anger and assumptions about our intellect and capabilities. Through our conversation, these notions have come to the surface.
Envisioning confrontation:
The expectation imposed on Black women and girls to embody the stereotype of being uncultured and aggressive echoes the persistent portrayal of the "angry Black woman," a legacy born from the exploitation of Africans. This portrayal subjects Black women to degrading stereotyping fueled by anti-Black imagery, shaping their interactions and very existence. The misperception of the angry Black woman unfairly portrays them as irrational and domineering. In grappling with this lingering stereotype, Hasnaa found it imperative to modify her public behavior in order to avoid falling victim to such assumptions.
The stereotypes literally affect your lifeline. They
say stereotypes like black people being loud and
just being violent. I feel like I started silencing
myself. I was not as opinionated as I would have
loved to be. [...] If I was hanging out with some
of my white friends and then I would see my
Black friends, and they would be dancing or loud,
I would feel so embarrassed. Like in my mind I'm
like 'oh my god, You are playing right into the
stereotype and you gonna make these people
think that I'm the same.' I wanted to be so
different from others, and I loved being the
chosen black among my white friends. It was like
that for a few years. I distanced myself from my
culture a lot. 'Cause I just thought that way I
would be able to survive in this country.
- Hasnaa
The pervasive myth of the "angry Black woman" has permeated diverse cultures, depicting Black women as inherently aggressive and manipulating their interactions, while the looming dread of embodying this stereotype governs our every move. Thus, Hasnaa's unease regarding her public image and peer perceptions mirrors a broader trend of racialized identities being subjected to scrutiny, ultimately shaping the behaviors and gestures of individuals within those identities. Philomena Essed (1991; 2001) has documented "everyday racism" as a threefold framework that incorporates the following into racist practices:
1. The marginalization and othering of racialized individuals.
2. The problematization of racialized identities and characteristics considered inherently other.
3. Repression and hindrance to dismantling racism through dismissal, embarrassment, and attack.
At times, we even temper our vibrant Blackness to shield ourselves from the hurtful expectations society casts upon us.
In the scope of our lives as Black women, microaggressions are like invisible threads that weave harmful stereotypes into our experiences. They whisper that our uniqueness is somehow lacking, creating a maze of challenges we navigate. These tiny arrows of bias may seem harmless, yet they're part of a larger design that seeks to preserve white dominance. Microaggressions affect us, like Hasnaa, in profound ways. They force us to recalibrate our actions and interactions, avoiding the stereotypes that threaten to define us. At times, we even temper our vibrant Blackness to shield ourselves from the hurtful expectations society casts upon us. But remember, we are the artists of our own narratives, and we have the power to redefine and reclaim our stories.
Inferences concerning credentials, intellect, and competence:
In the story of Hasnaa, we see how undervaluing or dismissing Black women's expertise is tied to microaggressions that assume less about our intelligence. These small yet impactful biases delve into our presumed intellect, status, qualifications, and abilities. This section aims to capture the intellectual prowess and talents assigned based on racial stereotypes.
Another recurring theme is counter-stereotypical exceptionalism, where we're singled out as "different" from the conventional Black narrative. This often leads to tokenism or the feeling of being an exception. Alongside this, countless Black women share tales of their educational prowess or career dreams being questioned by peers, educators, and advisors, revealing deeply ingrained stereotypes about our race and intellectual potential. Remember, our brilliance and potential defy these confining expectations.
[...] I work as a producer [and] people will ask someone white
something before they ask me. If I give some information, they
have to double-check to see if it's right. - Hasnaa
I really wanted to study psychology, but whenever
I would askabout it, I was told that it's very
difficult because I hadn't been living in Finland
long enough and it would be very challenging for
me. If your teacher says that and if a principal
says that, I mean, they know something that I
don't know so let me just start looking at
something else. So that's how I ended up studying
something that I have not used. I haven't used
that degree ever since I left that school.
- Hasnaa
Evolution
This essay aims to imagine a utopia, a state of ideal perfection, where freedom is not compromised, social obstacles are absent, and the lack of acknowledgment we encounter in our current reality is eliminated. When we dream, it's crucial to confront and transcend the awareness of the current reality. While I shape my utopian vision, I contemplate the injustices and discomfort I have been subjected to and intentionally focus on the healing process.
Navigating this world presents a daily struggle to resist internalizing the dystopian perspectives that shape my perception of reality and my position within this society.
As we craft spaces that celebrate our well-being and dismantle oppressive structures, we contribute to a future where freedom and possibility reign.
In a world that persistently tries to dim our light and silence our voices, our journey is a daily act of defiance against violence and doubt. Society's whispers can make us question our worth, but Black feminists have shown that despite the odds, we can nourish self-love and resilience. In a landscape shaped by White Supremacy, our Black womanhood often feels like an afterthought, a canvas for stereotypes we shatter with brilliance. The world demands that we fit into narrow boxes – either unseen or hyper-visible – but we transcend those confines, reminding everyone of our humanity.
Black feminism becomes our compass, guiding us to challenge boundaries and embrace our power. It reminds us that self-love, care, and healing are revolutionary acts that reshape the narrative. As we craft spaces that celebrate our well-being and dismantle oppressive structures, we contribute to a future where freedom and possibility reign. This section paints a portrait of our triumph over societal messages that aim to break us, a testament to our unyielding spirit and unapologetic existence.
As we step into Hasnaa's story, we uncover her continued evolution. It's a journey ignited by encounters with other Black souls, connecting with Black women shaped by diverse corners of Finland. In their presence, she found the courage to embrace herself authentically with a vibrant self-assuredness that defied stereotypes and embraced her uniqueness.
Now, in her professional realm, Hasnaa uses her voice to amplify Black femininity, a celebration that empowers and unravels the narratives that have sought to dim our joy. She's a testament to the beauty of reclaiming our narratives and standing unapologetically in our truth.
Existing as a Black woman in dystopia is shaped by patriarchal and racial influences, which cast their shadow over our pursuits. Hasnaa's encounters bring to light a manufactured hierarchy of skills and competence. The grip of stereotypes is so firm that a Black woman who defies them is seen as extraordinary. But genuine freedom would be us embracing our true selves, unshackled from societal constraints.
Viewing Black women as exceptions to negative stereotypes still ties us to those stereotypes, causing discomfort. These assumptions linger beneath the surface, woven into our individuality, a presence we can't escape. Remember, within this intricate tapestry of perceptions, our strength lies in redefining and rewriting our narratives.
For a very long time, I did not want to take space.
I did not want to be seen or noticed that much. I
liked being in the back because but it was
impossible. It was really impossible because I was
the only black person at the end of the day. So
when I moved from that small city I gained these
new friends living in Helsinki their whole lives,
and they were loud as f*ck. They were just there.
They were themselves. They didn't care. At first, it
was scary. So how can I become like them
without losing a sense of myself? Because I also
didn't wanna mold myself into something else to
deny what I had been through. I feel like all the
experiences have just been shaping me along the
way. And at this point where I am right now I'm
just, I cannot imagine not taking space. I cannot
imagine not being vocal. Not being loud. Not
dancing in the streets. Not laughing out loud
because I think that is the essence.
The way I view blackness, I just I think to me it is
the greatest thing ever. It is a sense of joy. It’s a
sense of love. I love how loud we are. I love how
talented we are. I love how no matter what
happens we do not give up. I love that there is
this, it’s easier here to form these communities
because we know there is a few of us here so it’s
like okay. Let’s just stay together. To me blackness
is safety. It’s just, I personally I view it as just the
essence of my whole being. - Hasnaa
Healing as a Black woman, defiant against societal constraints, involves embracing histories of oppression and narratives of inherent difference while refusing to adhere to those standards. Acts of radical self-love and collective unity among Black women challenge dominance and disrupt the notion of whiteness as the norm.
Exploring the insight of bell hooks, Audre Lorde, Roxane Gay, Patricia Hill Collins, Brittney Cooper, and literature centered on Black womanhood becomes a personal compass. Within their words, I find validation for the power of radical self-care and self-love as tools for navigating racism, sexism, homophobia, and class oppression. Following Nicol and Yee (2017), radical self-care becomes a cornerstone for resisting societal pressures and a catalyst for embracing authenticity.
By practicing radical self-love and self-care, we pave the way to exist counter to prevailing narratives, representations, and normative doctrines imposed by hegemony. Through this, we reclaim our narrative, rewriting a story that embraces our true essence.
Conclusion
As I envision utopia, I contemplate the contours of our shared existence, liberated from the scaffolds of racism. Within the journey of ideal perfection and self-discovery lies a jubilation of our authentic being. As we construct realms beyond the grip of oppressive systems, we transcend toward something that extends through time and space – a presence that connects history, the present, and the future. Accessing utopia intensifies community and healing in a world that often obstructs such flourishing. It's the embodiment of imaginative thinking, playfulness, and love. In its uncomplicated nature, Utopia becomes a canvas where our visions materialize – an oasis of potential and a refuge for escape.
Nia Sullivan (she/her) is an American writer, runner, and model. With a Master of Arts in social exclusion and gender studies from Åbo Akademi University, Nia's artistry transcends the written word, advocating for inclusion, healing, community, and reconciliation.
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